Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
