Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
