He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
