Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize