My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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