I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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