she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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