I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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