I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
