i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
