where am i from again
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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