no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
