STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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