do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
