So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
