Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
