And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
