So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
