we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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