We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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