Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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