Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.