I can't breathe out the right side of my face
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.