Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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