you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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