You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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