Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
