It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
