If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
