My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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