my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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