How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
