i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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