So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
