I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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