VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
