so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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