When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
