his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My vagina is officially offended.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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