Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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