K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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