I wanna bring you to show and tell
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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