If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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