Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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