I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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