tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
