i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
