Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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