she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
