Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
