she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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