I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
