I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
