He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my shit smells like andre
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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