i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
