i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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