i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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