Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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