So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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