i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
