I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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