Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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