I'm passing your future prison.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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